Vegetables and Sleeping Pills

Weight: Too scared to step on a scale
Mood: Speculative
Listening To: Family Guy

I once went to this restaurant with one of my girlfriends who claimed it was vegetarian. I thought to myself "no problem, I can do vegetarian!" and gladly skipped my way to the door with her. As I looked over the menu I immediately felt betrayed, confused and disgusted as I realized it was a RAW VEGAN restaurant. Instead of swearing under my breath and promptly walking out the door, I decided to give it a go. I can't remember exactly what I ate was called, but there was a lot of sprouts and some kind of vegan dressing on it. After awhile, it made me start to feel ill and I can't really tell you whether or not it was the idea of the food that made me sick, or the food itself. What I do know is that when I ate at El Pollo Loco later that night, I have never been more thankful for cooked food.
Here I am, possibly a year away from that event, but with it still crazy clear in my mind, when I am embarking on a week of being a vegetarian. It's really not for any environmental reason, or ethics reason. To fully be able to understand my newest adventure, I have to start from the best spot - the beginning.
It started the week before this past week (that would be two weeks ago to those who don't know how to count) when I was studying for the CBEST. Oh how very stressful that was. I used the Kaplan study guide, which was the worst guide I could have used, ends up. Once I sat down and took the test, I was quick to realize that Kaplan had me studying for things that weren't even touched upon on the test. I should have guessed it when Kaplan included linear algebra in a study guide for a test that has "basic education" in the title. Instead of investigating into the test off of the CBEST website, I took Kaplan's word for it and the stress was insurmountable. Did I work out to relieve the stress? Hell no. Meditation, maybe? Hell no, I needed immediate gratification. Oh hello my old friend spinach dip! Did it stop there? Hell no, I wasn't going to COOK!!! I have NO TIME to COOK!!! I'll just have to order in! I'll just do it tonight, and tomorrow I'll be good and cook. That discussion would continue in my head everyday for the entire week. I never did end up cooking.
Immediately after the test, I proceeded directly to the grocery store to shop for my 19-year-old niece and nephew that were coming in from Tennessee the following day. Hmmm . . . . . what do 19-year-olds like? Fruit? No, I don't even like fruit or veggies and I'm supposedly an adult. Well hello my old friends Doritos, Oreos, Top Ramen and White Cheddar Corn Puffs. It's been quite a long time since we've chatted. I think we should sit a spell. Especially since I won't be the only one visiting with you! I wasn't kidding myself; I knew I was going to have my fair share of visits with these old friends. During the week, I would have additional visits with other old friends like Cheeseburger, french fries, steak, cheese, chocolate and of course not to be missed - Peanut butter cups. Oh they were great visits! Unfortunately those visits will be sitting on my waist for a little while.
Once my babies left me to go back to Tennessee, I was quick to grab a trash bag to throw away the remaining Doritos and such. As I grabbed the bag, I heard them say hello and assumed we were sitting down for a visit. My arm fought me as I put them in the trash bag. I could hear them scream my name "NO!!! WE ARE SUPPOSSED TO HAVE A VISIT! JUST ONE MORE ISN'T GOING TO HURT! DON'T END IT LIKE THIS!!!" My self control somehow prevailed as I sealed the bag and put it by the door and gathered additional items to throw out. When I picked up the bag and saw bright red and orange from my old friend Doritos press up against the plastic. It taunted me, asked me not to end our relationship like this, and if I needed it had baby bags in the vending machine downstairs ready for a visit.
I wish I could say I felt relief when I threw the bag down the trash shoot, but I didn't. I felt regret that I ever said hello to these old friends again. I felt regret that I ended the relationship so abruptly. Although I knew one last visit wasn't worth it, I still think about the bright red and orange poking through at me, shining brightly and pulling me in.
To get back to healthy, I'm throwing myself on a vegetarian track for a week and being miss workout queen as well. I've got a workout scheduled for every day of the week. I'm nervous. Not so nervous about the food. Not so much nervous about the work outs, but more nervous about my self control than anything. Let's face a fact - I have no self control when it comes to food. I admit it, and it certainly shows on my figure. In any case, I treated myself to an Indian dinner as a send off and good luck, wrote down all of my vegetarian recipes for the week and took a sleeping pill to try and catch a little bit of a zero calorie high. Let the games begin . . . . .