Weight: 10 lbs lighter
Listening to: First Time by Lifehouse
Mood: Good but headachy. Hungry, maybe? I'm gonna rip open a pack of garlic parmesan pretzels - 2 points.
For the last couple of weeks, when I go to a Weight Watchers meeting I've noticed that there is a group of older adults who are rather familiar with one another. It's pretty evident that they have been coming to meetings for quite some time, and there have been talks about how they walk together for their work outs. It usually leaves me wondering if for them Weight Watchers is more a social event then a weight loss event. As that kind of frustrated me, I ignored it for the most part, but also took active note that they were never dressed very nicely. It was always loose, workout clothes that weren't very fashionable. Could they really be working out after the meetings every week? I kinda get the feeling that they don't work out THAT much. I don't even remember hearing about any of them hitting any sort of weight loss milestones. So if they are here to get out of the house and socialize, what is up with the workout clothes? Well, whatever. I'll just take pride in my cute little scarves, fashionable t's and slowly loosening jeans. It wasn't long until I found myself in work out clothes at a Weight Watchers meeting. But I digress; I must start from the beginning.
I ended up skipping a meeting last week, and although I was weighing myself almost daily, I knew I wasn't eating very well and to hell with working out with a knee injury. I had been developing this rather enjoyable, but rather bad pattern of behaviors called "happy hour." Gavin introduced me to the one at Enterprise Fish Co (see previous logs) and since then I've been happy hour McCrazy. The always adorable Chanthy came to town on day, and we hit up Barney's Beanery's happy hour - which sucks, but we still stayed - and had a multitude of drinks and fried foods. Then one sunny afternoon Brian remembered that Gyukaku has a happy hour and we ended up there - which is the best happy hour in the city. Ten 99 cent draft beers later we were on our way out the door. That was immediately followed by binging on more beer, pizza and somewhere gelato came into the mix.
After that happy hour, I told Brian I'm giving up alcohol for awhile! All it does is cloud my better food judgment and makes me fat! I'm already fat! I don't need to be more fat! So, almost a week sober and I have a raging head ache. Coincidence? (Ha-ha, totally kidding, I know it's a sinus headache, dam pollen.) Well, that might have stopped the drinking, but that didn't stop the binging! After I polished off the bag of chocolate chips in the cupboard, I found myself desperately searching for the Reese's peanut butter cups that HAD to be somewhere in the kitchen, although I knew they weren't. What the hell? Why am I binging like this? Maybe I broke up with my therapist too soon . . . . I'm just going to go to my bedroom with this popcorn that's one point and try to forget about the peanut butter cups. Albertson’s needs to carry the weight watcher's version. Dam them for not carrying them!!!! DAM THEM!!!!
This morning was the moment of truth. No sleeping in, no doctor's appointments, I was going to a meeting. I stepped on the scale in the bathroom to help prep me for the disappointment I would feel at the meeting, because inevitably the scales there always say one pound heavier. Huh. That's not so bad. In fact, if the scale at weight watchers is the same, that means I've lost ten pounds. Why is that stupid scale always higher than the one in my bathroom? How can I keep this consistent until then? Of course I'm not eating until I weigh in, but I never do. How do I keep this?
That's when I remembered the yoga clothes I have, that I "discovered" when I was looking for something to wear to physical therapy. For those of you that aren't keeping up - I injured my left knee a few weeks ago, to the point where walking up stairs is a painful process and I've been limping around on it up until recently. I had a stroke of genius when I decided to see a physical therapist, and had my first appointment a week ago, which is why I missed my weight watchers meeting. I highly suggest everyone go to physical therapy, if only for a consultation. As I am laughing at certain weaknesses in my body, I am also learning how to fix them. Yesterday she strapped me into this Pilates machine, which good gawd am I sore today, but getting the ultrasound therapy on my knee made it all worth it.
Gawd those clothes are comfy. Huh. I wonder if I wear it to the meeting, if the scale will register the same there. Fuck, I'm going to be like one of those old people at the meeting that annoy me. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I want this pound, I want my 5% stars, I'm doing it.
Indeed the scale did register the same as the one in my bathroom. Maybe these old people are on to something. Or maybe they're just old and want to be comfortable. Who gives a crap; I got to my 5% goal. But of course I got in the line with the inept lady behind the computer that originally said I gained weight. Upon review of the notes and consultation with the meeting leader, it was confirmed that I was down 10 pounds. I was happy, and I wanted my dam stickers. However, this stupid lady forgot to write it down on the list, so I didn't get acknowledged and I didn't get my dam stickers. ALL I WANT ARE THOSE DAM STICKERS!!!!! Okay, calm down, what do I do? Do I ask the team leader for them after the meeting? Do I raise my hand and say "EXCUSE THE HELL OUT OF ME, I BELONG ON THAT STUPID LIST, TOO, AND I WANT THE STUPID STICKERS I EARNED, GAWD DAM IT!!!!!" No, no . . . . I think I'll refrain myself. I'm just going to sit here and pout until I calm down. Instead of making a big deal out of it after the meeting, I'll mention it when I weigh in next week. I'm going to get those stupid stickers at some point, and I'm going to put them on my stupid weigh in book.
But I can't just go about my day and not acknowledge this. Yeah, I texted a few people, but hell I should be happy about this, right?? How should I reward myself? Maybe I should just get those peanut butter cups I was hunting down last night. But they go by so fast! It's hard to savor that for a long time and I'm not going to bullshit myself and say I'll eat one now and another one later. Oooh! I know what I'll get myself. . . . .
Ten minutes later I was driving away from Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf with a small decaf soy latte. It was three points.
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